ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
