Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
