quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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