no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
