Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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