My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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