If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
