I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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