we have pet lesbian snakes
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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