I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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