He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
