I'm really into asian looking animals
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
