She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
