and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We have started to decorate penises.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
