I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize