I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
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