You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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