Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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