that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
