at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
