Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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