I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
