my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
