You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize