According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
