Sry I called you an 8
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
