She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
