Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
