i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
