i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
