C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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