and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
so much tequila, so little girl.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
