im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize