I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
