Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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