I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
