I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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