The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
