We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
