ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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