i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize