My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
