It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
