for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
