I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize