Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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