it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
