bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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