gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
