Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
