i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize