What did we do last night that was yellow?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
