you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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