Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
