So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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