do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Can I color on your dick again?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
