Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Randomize
