I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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