Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize