Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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