i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
