take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
