I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Vodka?
Forever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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