her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize