Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
