pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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