You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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