What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
