dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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