But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
