so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
