Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize